Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
