I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
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I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
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I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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