Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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