I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
