yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think my vagina is haunted
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
