it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
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We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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