what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
