Having a random hookup so left but love u
What a fucking waste of an outfit
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
