put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
