you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
