Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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