Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
