filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
