Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
