Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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