Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My cat gives me a boner
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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