if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
