Dual....:-)
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
