Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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