Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
