Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
