it glows. i had to have it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
