The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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