8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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