This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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