I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
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at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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