She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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