We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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