i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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