we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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