i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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