But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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