After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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