are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
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She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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