she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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