so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
