she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
