I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We left an ass print on the piano.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
