Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
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Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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