C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
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PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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