i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
