if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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