I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
