if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
