Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
