i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
