Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
