K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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