susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
