i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize