So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
