It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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