Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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