talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
